Who do you want to be?

So this morning I was able to catch up on my Super Soul Sunday. I missed Dr Robin yesterday and wanted to be able to give it my full attention. So watched the interview today.
So far I have a Question: Who do you want to be?
In hindsight I always thought that I was at my best when I was newly widowed, taking care of myself, and my son, by myself. Living a "good" life. I was happy. I enjoyed the having dinner every night with my son, I so enjoyed Sunday afternoons with my Mom. I didn't have a dime. I was working 30 hours a week, just barely getting the bills paid but I was happy.
I remember taking a ride to the beach and just sitting there. I felt so blessed. It was March and there I was sitting on a beach at 7pm, it was still light and not freezing. I was Happy. I felt I was "doing it".
Now by other people's standards I was a "Poor Widow" who couldn't work full time because I needed to be in town and on time to have dinner with my son every night. I had to be the constant. I had a car, but it was borrowed and never knew when or if I'd be bale to use beyond getting back and forth to work.. Didn't know if I'd make the rent every month...."Poor Girl".
But I didn't feel that way.

So my question is:
Who do you want to be? Do you want to be happy for what makes YOU happy?
Or do you want to be "Happy" with what "Others" say you should be Happy with?

Life is all about Perception, but the only perception that makes any difference is truly yours!
You are the Star of Your life, but only a secondary character in everything else.

*This article also Featured in BoomerBuzz Magazine

Make Obstacles a Catapult for your Journey..instead of an Excuse to stop.

What an eventful week this has been. I am so happy to be able to relay some new revelations that have come about in my life. I so hope it inspires you to know that no matter how low things get, IT WILL GET BETTER!
If you have been following my blog, you know that I have been journalling my journey, my path and my outlook for approximately 5 months. In this journal I have outlined some very key factors that have changed my outlook on things and on the way my perception (the way I see things), when changed can effect my life in very REAL ways. (ie: "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."~Dr Wayne Dyer)
I have personally spoken to so many people in the last few months who have said "Gee, I never looked at it that way". This inspires me to move forward, and keep journalling. Make no mistake about it, This has been a LooooNG and drudgerous road. I have documented many, many misteps and I'm sure I will make a few more. Just yesterday, the closest person to me compared me to Dr Dyer and said "Even Dr Dyer says anger is not effective". This person had been screaming for 3 hours..and was upset that I finally said "STOP" in no uncertain terms. LOL
This is something I want to point out. Something I think many people get caught up in. The "I would do better if it wasn't for so and so".. mantra. I think the revelation in my mind today was brought about by something I heard from "Pastor Joel Osteen". Not necessarily a religious revelation but a thought about "obstacles" or "perceived obstacles". A Person can get so caught up in the "details" of everyday life that the "big picture" gets lost.
Example: Fighting with someone. If you are a person in a relationship, girlfriend / boyfriend, man / wife, sister / brother, parent / child, boss / employee, colleague / colleague,  you know that "fighting" is emotionally draining, most of the time futile, and a downright waste of precious time. But our ego says "I am RIGHT" so it matters to point that out, and fight for it. If you know in your heart your right, what difference does it make if everyone else knows? And if you know your wrong, why bother fighting? apologize first thing, and move on. A perfect example of this was a friend came to me and said "I'm sorry..." I immediately said, Ok. Immediately I then moved on to ask a question completely unrelated to the subject. My friend became extremely frustrated with me. He said, "You don't know what I'm sorry for". I answered "Does it matter? How about we go with  You're sorry, I forgive you, I love you, Next....?" He became so frustrated he went on and on for hours again! I asked many times, why it was so important that he explain and essentially dump his feelings of guilt on me? Why couldn't he just allow me to forgive him and move on? He said "Because that's not the way it's "suppose" to go." 'Well", I said, "It's the way it goes with me..now can we move on?" The time spent duking it out is so much better spent doing something you enjoy or something productive. Sometimes it's hard for people to get over the "details".


There's one other point to know. Sometimes people are put in our lives to catapult us to the next level of awareness. Truly everyone we come in contact with, is in our life to teach us something. The sooner we accept this the easier it is to accept people's differences. This is something that will further us on our path of awareness. For instance, What would David had been without Goliath??? If David had not come against his strongest enemy would he have been the man he became? Need something more powerful? Ok, JESUS...where would Jesus be without Judas? Ok, I know this is severe, but realistically...Judas was a disciple! He was a Close confidant. He betrayed Jesus and because of this Jesus was Crucified! Jesus then became the redeemer of the Earth! Ok maybe a strong reference, but look over history, there are a million stories of people who were told they couldn't do something or pushed out of something, or betrayed, or fired on someone's whim, only then to Forge through to make their own way and do phenomenally better!



Image by Karen Swim



My point is..Life has struggles. Life has obstacles. Without them we can't appreciate the upside. The only reason I can say this is because I have been there and I continue to forge on the path.

Keep walking with me...Stop whining, Stop crying, and as they say look for the "New Door" that has opened. It's there. We need to choose how we look at things, and understand that every moment wasted on whining, crying and victimizing ourselves is a moment lost on the path forward. If we choose to think "Things happen FOR me, instead of things happen TO me"...We have taken one step Forward today. Every journey is taken ONE step at a time..if we cried yesterday, we learned why not to today :) Everyday is a new chance to start over.
Move Forward! I am proof that it works! We are on the way!
Have a Great Week!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year Everyone...
I am happy to say that coming into this New Beginning I am elated to have found my Bliss.
I can't say that I didn't know it beofre, I just didn't know it was IT!
As my readers know I have been moving through some different things to understand my path in life.
For some this has been a tough time, because the persona they know of me, has always been the stable steadfast, do the right thing, take care of everyone else, kind of person. In the last year and a half or so, I have been cut off. I have taken care of nobody. I think I wanted to see if I had anyone to take care of me. What I found was that if I am of no use to anyone, they have no use for me. I guess I understand that in a way. I at this point in my life have resolved that if a person I come in contact with, ( family, friend or foe) adds nothing of a positive nature to my life, I reserve myself to a minimum of contact with this person, if any at all. I have just recently realized in myself to be a "fix-it" person. I was always the person to help, or do, or be there. and in some way this was my downfall. I became tired, resentful and bitter. Not fun!

As I have learned along this path of self induced social restriction over the past 16 months or so, is that a person can find in themselves what they are looking for in others. I needed this. I kept trying to be everything to others so they would want and need me..never realizing they weren't doing anything, but drain from me.

In that, I have found something that has always made me feel good. Something I am fantastic at and something that brings me more Joy than many things in my life. Cooking! I have started to share my love of Cooking and Writing together in, "Food Blogging" and I'm good at it!
Food is Love  my blog site, has really taken off for me. I have dabbled in cooking and "food pictures" in the past to mediocre results, but I think it just wasn't the right time. It seems now that I have centered myself and found a reason and a purpose. It just is all falling into place.


I recently was featured as a "Guest Blogger" on The World of Book Reviews" , I have attained a significant following on "Food Buzz"..(45 followers in 5 days) and am aiming to be a Featured Publisher there in a few weeks. I was accepted by "Foodie Blog Roll" in 1 Day as opposed to up to several weeks by normal protocol. The point is.. I am happy and it is evident to me that this is the right direction.

This week from January 1st -3rd,
I am participating in the New Year Smash with other writers who are promoting their Blog. Please take a moment to look at the blog roll at the right of this page to support my colleagues. Please also stop by my Blog "Food is Love" for a very special Promotional Giveaway.
I can't Thank You enough for the Support !!!

Hope in the New Beginning the New Year Brings..
Take the time to know yourself as I did.
There is a Very Special Person waiting to Love you back the way only you know how!

Many Blessing my Friends...I look forward to a wonderful future inspiring you!

Everyone has a story...so?

Through all of my reading lately I have come to know one thing.  Not everyone realizes what it means to say "Everybody has a story". Contrary to popular belief a person's "story" is not their "real" life experience. It has come to my attention that people don't even realize they are here to "experience" life. They walk through life getting through the tasks. They are just numbing their way through. Just muddling through, day after day with no particular enjoyment or realization that time is passing.
People live with mantras. Stories they tell themselves to get through events. These mantras escape the confines of their mind sometimes in the form of excuses and explanations. They don't even realize their doing it. It's funny that once you actually come to understand what this experience is all about, the way you look at people and the way they act becomes very interesting. You begin to hear and see people in a very different light. Others become more of a learning experience.
Here's my take on this:
The perception that the events that occur in our life, are what
define our life, is not only wrong but the easy way out. For example a woman might say,  "I will never find the right guy because my father physically abused me." or "I have never found a good job, I'll always be poor because my resume is terrible". "I didn't get my degree, so I'm not successful".
"I got married early  and when the children came along I didn't have time to do what I wanted". These are Mantras. Stories we tell ourselves and anyone else who'll listen, to explain why we have given up. Why we muddle through each day with no intent and no vigor for the "gift of life" we have been given.
These stories are the "excuses" we use to justify our actions in our hearts and in our minds. This doesn't make them TRUE.
The incidents and events that have happened are just that. Events. They do not define our life in any way.
If you choose to hang on to those excuses you have decided to make them valid. It still does not change the fact that YOU made the decision NOT to do what you wanted to do.
So as I come to this realization and I now, have to ask myself "What are my Mantras?"  Tough question.
This means if I have these Mantras, I have to recognize them. That also means if I recognize them as Mantras I have to either dispell them or justify keeping it. Oh no! This means that the stories I have been telling myself
for so many years, has to change??? Does this mean I have to own up to the fact that I have always made every decision?
This is a tough path...Lets take this one slowly.
Ok, my first Mantra. I was a Daddy's Girl, but he left when I was 13 and this screwed up my life forever. I now was a single parent child, now poor and no longer spoiled. My life was ruined! I was going to go to public school, have to move..etc... Ok, Ok, I know...nothing that happens when you are 13 dictates what happens "the rest" of your life.
I also realize, the marriage rate is >50% divorced in this country. I'm not that different from anyone else. So I guess that "Mantra" is gone!
2nd Mantra: I had to LPN out of College because my husband got sick and I had to go to work. He then died and I never got the chance to become an RN. Hmmmm, this is a tough one. I truly believe I did the right thing, here.
But I guess it's not completely true. I guess I could have taken the money I made, and have well paid for myself to go and finish my degree. What does this mean though? What does this truly mean? Did I NOT want to become an RN?
Looking at it today.. I would have to say yes. I DID NOT want to be an RN. Can I answer why? Nope. I really don't know.
I have others, but those 2 were biggies for Me. Now the rest of the questions come into play. So, if I don't WANT to be an RN, what do I want? How do I know? Where do I start? For God sakes.. I'm too old to not know what I want to be when I grow up...aren't I?
At this moment in my life, I am looking at MY Experience. My experience has been what I have made of it.(or not)
Right or wrong, I made every decision, I took or didnt take every step that lead to where I am right now.
The only thing I can do is make sure that every step from this moment on is what I Want. I have to know I am the only person living MY experience.

I spoke to someone this week, who said that it is only HUMAN to "feel" for people. That's interesting, but the only thing I can say is, from what I have learned, EVERYONE makes their own decisions. I can feel bad that a person doesn't know what's good for them or exactly what they want for themself. As I didn't.  But to allow my empathy to change my experience in any way shouldn't happen. I act in kindness. I don't laugh at anyone's expense. I am open to every person in my life, As I know they are there to teach me something. But I now can draw the line when it "depresses me or angers me" to the point where it could ruin my day. I will not allow anyone that power.  I want to be Happy. I know at least that much.

Next time: What do people see when they see me? How do the people that truly know me, see me? What are they thinking, when they think of me? How does this affect me? How does it enter into my decision making? Should it have any influence on how I make decisions? Things to talk about...

Who Died and Made me Emily Post...cont.

I made me Emily Post.
 I decided I was going to be my boyfriend's Mother, Teacher, Mentor and Life Coach. Didn't he know there were rules to being in my life? Didn't he know that I was going to tell him how to live his life? Poor man, He didn't know. He didn't know that I had "rules". Funny, I didn't know I had a "rules" either... I had some questioning to do...When something isn't working for me, I'm like "Columbo". (A 1970's TV detective). Just  "one more thing". I need an answer. I need to understand. I ask questions...Sometimes to a fault...I just NEED to understand. When I question something and look at it closely.. The first thing I ask is: "Really"?  "Can it be verified"? If in this case what I'm questioning is my "thought" then I need to find out if it's true. If my thought in this matter cannot be validated (backed up) then the "thought" just isn't true.

 "Byron Katie" (author of the book: Loving What Is) calls this "inquiry".
Inquiry is defined as: "The process by which we question or challenge our thoughts". <giggle> Byron Katie has a label for my obsession with understanding :)
Anyway...This process can be an uncomfortable one. When we question ourselves and something we have believed for a long time to be true, we can become very uncomfortable with the upheaval that this  "belief distortion" can cause in our mind. We build a foundation of learning experiences into our minds as "Fact" or "beliefs". This is a process from about the age of 6 or 7. Our mind previous to that is our own. It's merely a function of brain maturity. The brain of a 3 or 4 yr old hasn't been told that putting a peanut butter sandwich in the vcr is wrong. They simply have not had enough experience in the world to know certain things. It's trial and error. But as we grow, the process where we socialize and become more interactive with our parents, teachers and mentors, we learn those little things we call "suppose to's" and "shoulds". This is the "Underworld" or the "foundation" of our "belief system". Our "foundation in the beginning is built on little things. Example: A 3 yr old child runs naked through a dinner party. The parent's immediate response is to say "NO. Dont ever do that again. Dont ever embarrass us again".
What does the child learn?
Running through the living room is bad. Period. Naked isn't even a concept...Embarassment isnt remotely a concept. Those are the parent's issue. The child learns those type of lessons from Parents, Mentors, teachers etc.. As children we learn that the people who are here (on this earth) before us know "the way". We don't question it. We assume the roles they lay out for us. The foundation is layed.
Now as teenagers and adults, we learn that the foundation may be flawed. Nobody's fault. No blame here. Our parents, teachers, grandparents, etc... did as those who went before them. The foundation isn't entirely flawed, but may have some cracks. When this realization comes about there can be some very real turmoil.
Remember the movie "Carrie"?
What did Carrie's mother say when she wanted to go to the High School Dance? AAAARRRMAGEDON!!! It's kind of like that. Chaos! The end of life as we know it!
Your mind and body react to "assaults" to it's foundation in that very same way.You feel like a traitor. You feel like you are betraying your "belief system". Here's the rub: If inquiry shows that a part of our "foundation" may be flawed then we may find that the (foundation) doesn't support Reality. This now causes a shift in the way we view Everyday Life. The truth of the matter is we are all individuals.  We all grew up in different houses. We may have grown up in the same community, so we have some similarities in the way we were raised, but for the most part we are different.
We all are responsible for ourselves.
The "shoulds" and "supposed to's" don't apply to anyone but us. If this is what You identify with, then it is Your "should", not anyone else's. Byron Katie explains that statements including the words "should" are false, because it isn't.
Example;  My boyfriend should pick up his socks and not leave them on the bathroom floor. This statement is false. Do you know why? Because he doesn't. Period. He doesn't. It is that simple. This leaves me a few choices. Do I pick up the socks because it will drive me insane to have socks on the bathroom floor, or do I scream and yell like a scorned mother and shame this grown man into picking up his socks causing resentment and anger for however long it lasts, (arguments always start with socks but never end there, do they?) Or, do I simply leave them right where they are and go on with my life???  The bottom line is what do I want in my life.
What choice am I making for my life at this moment?
In my life right now today. I want peace. Peace is at the forefront of my being. So, sometimes I pick up the socks and sometimes I don't. Sometimes He actually does. It's not life altering, but it's also not an issue I choose to brood over or even pay attention to. Because what we pay attention to in our lives we bring about more of! Do I want more issues about socks???  Oh for God sakes, No of course not! I want to enjoy my life. I want to remain at peace and be happy. The truth is, that even the life altering things give us choices...their just harder to see at first, but we can find them if we look closely enough. Just call on your inner Columbo!

 Tomorrow:  "Back to the socks again...?"

Journeys and Paths...

When you have inspired thought, you have to trust it, and you have to act on it.

Everyone seems to have there own reason for doing what they do to make there way in life. So many people are motivated by the end result that they lose sight of the journey. I read a book recently that most would balk at as a philosophical piece that is nice to read, but not worth the time spent to read it. I so disagree. Although most philosophical pieces are full of inspiration and light hearted thoughts this piece makes sense.

The writer takes you on a journey with a man who has lost all hope in himself. His family is drowning in debt and lost all faith in him. This writer takes you and this man through a journey where you follow the path always traveled.  The path to making others successful. Our "daily grind", as it were.
 The man in the book, always saw others who attained their goals as "lucky" or "smarter" or "having less integrity" than he. How many of us have come upon people like that in our lives? People who appear to "have it all"?  Of course we have. Did we ever stop to see that this person's journey, might not have been the same as ours. Did we ever stop to think "I want my own journey"? Did we ever think we were brave enough to get off the beaten path and forge our own journey? We wake up everyday with the same opportunity everyone else does. We wake up with the opportunity to continue on being comfortable in what we KNOW or we can decide to forge a NEW journey where we KNOW we will attain our Goal.

A few months ago I chose the latter. I chose my GOAL. I didnt ask anyone's permission. I saw it. I believe it. I do it EVERYDAY, and So can you!

Belief in yourself and knowing what you want, is the key to getting it done. The ability to truly know what you want is all you need. Knowing what you want will bring on the way to get it. You first have to KNOW what you want.

Write down your goals, this makes it easier to visualize. Keep reading it. Set the words to memory. Visualize your dream accomplished. This makes your dream a reality in your subconscious. Convincing yourself that you have what it takes to accomplish your goal is 95% of the work. We are our own worst critic. We have to train ourselves to be our own promoter. Nobody wants to see you succeed more than you!
Help everyone else know, you are that person. You are a success!
Realize that the naysayers are people on the well traveled path of making other people successful.
They are afraid to take your journey. They are afraid to be on their own, on a road they have never traveled. Of course they have never traveled it, they have never been successful!


You are on a brave journey. You are on a journey to success. As you get to know this road, it will become familiar to you, so that you will never need to go back in the other direction. This road will be more comfortable. This road will be the easier way to get to your goal. You have the GPS!

Remember, everyone thought Columbus was crazy!
Misery loves company someone said... ever wonder where that came from?
We want happiness, not misery. We want to love what we do and be successful while doing it!  We deserve the comfort and happiness that comes with doing something you love. Simple as that.
Believe in yourself. The goal and the way will show itself once you do.
You deserve it & It WORKS!

Related Articles

• There Are No Ordinary Journeys (itakeoffthemask.com)
• Walking the Pathless Path (beliefnet.com)
• "Eat, Pray, Love" Devotees Can Experience Inspiring Journey of their Own With New Online Application, Coaching Sanctuary (prweb.com)
• Deepak Chopra: Walking the Pathless Path (huffingtonpost.com)

Taken off my path with a detour into futility.

I know you all are saying yah yah.. so we need to maintain positivity. Easy to say, but you don't live my life. Everyday life presents its own set of exercises. Law of Attraction says Positive attracts Positive. True enough, but.. it doesn't happen right away. Sometimes we have some "housecleaning" to do. Whether internal or external. Internally we need to feel that the path we are on is what WE want. Externally we need to remove factors that do not align us with our goals. Sometimes that's easier said than done. So what can we do?
 Here's an example of a real life everyday occurrence...

Today someone I live with took a lot of time & trouble to go to the cable office to exchange a cable box. Going to the cable office in my city can be harrowing. Especially if you go without  good intention. An example of good intention would have been "I am going to the cable office. The traffic will be clear and I will get out of the line fast" once in the office another affirmation: "This line is moving quickly, I am going to get my task done easily".  Now, the person I speak of has yet to be convinced of the power of positive intention. So, this person dragged himself to get up and go. Words coming out of his mouth such as  "I hate having to do this, Going there is always such a task" etc.. Upon reaching the cable office,  He immediately texted me "It is Packed!".  I affirm to him via text, "before going in please say to yourself, this will be painless and the line is moving quickly." I received no response. I texted additionally, "Visualize yourself, in your car with everything you have come for and smiling." The response I got back : "There are more people behind me now than in front of me". I responded, "Great! Can you see the tide changing for you?"  No response.

45 mins later he returns in a horrible huff. He goes on to explain that he thinks he has been screwed and that he will need to call the cable company immediately. I slow him down and ask... "what happened?" (big mistake) He goes on to say that he thinks that the guy at the cable company was in the wrong account and that the service that we got was not at the level that was in the computer. I brought him the bill where proof showed the service we were looking to restore with an exchange of faulty equipment was in fact what we paid for. He went on to call the cable company, and the morning was blown. When he finished screaming at the cable company (shaking my head the whole time), He came to me and asked if I was going to go install the equipment. I simply explained that right now would not be a good time, and that I needed a breather. He scoffed and went into the room and attempted to install the equipment. I left to go into my bedroom. I needed solitude. I felt physically ill. I felt that I had been in a war zone. Stress does that to you. just being exposed to stressful situation that I recognize has nothing to do with me, made me physically ill and trepidous. My body is literally telling me...THIS IS NOT A GOOD SITUATION!  Doesnt seem effective does it? My mind starts to question itself.  Is  positive thinking making me weak? How do I address stress?

Hold on... is this MY stress?

Is this MY situation?

Ok, In my accounting I could have made better choices. After laying down and closing my eyes for what seemed to be milliseconds, I realized, I walked straight into the negativity. I invited it in. Why was I concerned about how this was going to go? Why was I concerned about how he would react in this situation. I, the supposed enlightened person was perpetuating what I DID  NOT want. At the very beginning of this situation I was already worried. I should have instead affirmed it myself. The power was mine. Instead of asking him to affirm, why didn't I do it for myself? I could have said "The cable equipment has been returned without incident. I am grateful for the internet, and the cable working perfectly." Period.

Ok, Aha moment realized!

After I came out of my bedroom I began to immediately go into cooking mode. I was feeling a little better and realized that He was upset that I was not excited that he went to the cable office for me and I was not grateful for his going. So, I went to him and said, please go to bed you need to go to work, I understand that you think I am ungrateful and not excited, but I will take care and install the equipment later. I simply feel, to try to install this now in an angry stressful situation would not produce a positive outcome. He became irate. I left the room, He then became enraged, that I left the room! I realize that : 1.) I should not have gone into the room. 2). To maintain peace I could have not instilled my feelings on the situation. (I don't have to fix things)
In order to deal with everyday stressors such as living with someone who does not maintain my same mindset, I have to realize that his reality is not mine. Investing emotion into his hysteria, I now have "minded his business". Let me clarify; I am of the mind-set that if you "mind" other people's business you are not taking care of your own. I have my own agenda. I want to maintain a clear mind, and peaceful heart. In investing emotion (especially negative emotion) in someone else's problems I am not helping  and probably making the situation worse. I also am not investing any attention or positive emotion into mine. This is a colossal waste of energy and time away from my path. A detour to futility. No matter how much I want to think I have learned these lessons I also need to realize I cannot change this other person. Only He has the power to do so, if he wants to.  That's the idea of Free Will. Who am I to change someone else? Especially when I have not done such hot job with my own choices. I freely recognize that I still have a lot of work to do. And, oooohhhhh there are detour signs everywhere!

 I now need the tools to help me as blinders to the detours & magnifiers to my best path.

What have been your biggest "detours"? How do you handle them? What is your best tool?  Leave me a comment. Let me learn from you :)

*Next Time: The Science behind Bad Relationships.

Related Articles

• Emotional Acceptance: Why Feeling Bad is Good (psychologytoday.com)

How NOT to realize whats right in front of you...lol

Here's an example of what Not  to do, to save you time.

After reading Jack Rabbit Factor, I did as it said. I wrote my statement, I visualized, I believed it to be true, but life continued and I lost my conviction. I began to back pedal. I had an intermittent website cookie business and My cookie sales fell completely off. I began to think that Leslie had sold me the "Kool-Aid".  I spent several months more pitying myself and dwelling in my same thought patterns. I closed down my website. I stopped interacting with people and completely closed myself off to the outside world. I kept only my computer.

I began to be more sensitive with my boyfriend again. We are at a very tenuous time. The other night he again threw me to the curb. Only this time I wasnt going without a fight. I grabbed the phone and called my brother. Poor man lives 200 miles away, but sweet as he is, he said I'm on my way. Again as I sit on the curb, I cannot think about whats ahead of me. I cannot be excited about the freedom in front of me. I can only think of the strain I will cause my brother and his new bride. I also can't stop thinking about losing what little I had. I again acquiesce. I called my brother who was now within 50 miles of my house to turn around and go home. My boyfriend has promised to send him gas money and help me put everything away. Once I got off the phone with my brother, my boyfriend went back in the house and left me to tote all of my belongings, broken pieces and all, back into the house on my own. He then began a chant of  "you wouldn't have had to do this had you not been so angry! Anger rules you!"

I have to say I believed at the time staying was the better of the choices. Why bring someone else into my misery? The days after this pass. I went on with my existence. Back to toughing it out alone.
I then received a copy of the movie "The Secret". I watched it and was again tempted to believe that I might have another purpose in this life. I went to sleep that night saying in my mind "I need 5,000. dollars by the end of the month". Over and over again I repeated this in my mind. I knew that it was a good enough amount to get me out of my desperate situation and not be a burden on anyone. Again and again, until I fell asleep, I kept saying "I need 5,000 by the end of the month".

On that night of August 17th into the 18th something happened. I cannot explain it, but I woke up the next morning very nervous. This doesn't happen to me. I am a very quiet morning person. I woke up, did some chores and stayed to myself, for fear of a problem with my boyfriend. I didn't know what was up, but it was something. I remembered  from the movie to only put out the vibration of what I did want and not what I didn't want. So I did. I stayed in my bedroom all morning to maintain any peace there was going to be. My boyfriend was having a particularly horrible day. He was angry, said he didn't feel right and that life was not being good to him that day. I said nothing. When he left for work I warily ventured out into the living room, and saw his telephone on the coffee table. I suddenly felt a pit in my stomach. I became immediately overaught with anxiety! Oh no! I am going to pay for this! This was somehow going to be blamed on me. I somehow caused him to be distracted so that he forgot his phone. I was sick! My stomach was so tied in knots, it consumed me.

Just then my phone rang. It was a 310 area code. I didn't know the number, but answered the phone anyway. I have to admit, my attitude at the time stunk, to say the least. The caller on the other end asked if this was Cookie Memories? My response was "Cookie Memories" is closed. The caller hung up.
My boyfriend came to get his phone without incident.

I began to calm down. Upon calming I realized something. The number for my Cookie company is no longer listed on google, and the phone number wasnt on my Facebook page. I no longer had a webpage. How did this person get my number? I googled the area code and found it was a California area code. Los Angeles, Hollywood, Malibu. Oh no!!! But, how did they get my number? Curiously, I called the number and the answering machine said, "Social Capital Films"! Can you picture the look on my face? My mouth is wide open, and I cannot speak. I clumsily left a very apologetic message. Sent a follow-up email, and resolved that I did all that I could to salvage this. I then googled the "film" company and as it turns out it was a very substantial film company. For those of you who don't know a lot about the "Speciality Cookie Business". I make Custom Cookies. Cookies that are used as Favors, Event Centerpieces and the like.   When I first got in the business, that was my cous de gras. I wanted to land a Movie or Event that would put me on the map.
A friend in California did several of these for Showtime and made millions after that in follow-up business. 
It catapulted her to a Professional Level!
I just sat in awe. I immediately thought of the story of the man on the roof! The man is in a flood and boat after boat comes by but he refrains and says he's waiting for God. The man dies and upon reaching heaven He asks God why he wasnt saved and God replies "How many more boats did you want me to send???" I AM THIS GUY !!! The universe sends me exactly what I asked for and I hung up the phone?!?!? Are you kidding me????  Is this some Cosmic Joke??
Ok, what have we learned?
All I'm saying is this: Listen to the signs. Be positive. Ask for what you want, and KNOW that you DESERVE what you ask for.
Some things are meant to be, whether you can see how it will happen or not!
Ask for it, see what happens !!!!!!

More tomorrow...............

If you could have anything you want, ANYTHING, what would it be???
**Comment me and let me know

Related articles and information:
http://www.thesecret.tv/

Some things are true, whether we believe in them or not...

I have made the choice to believe that in order to control my destiny, I have to listen. Listen to myself. Listen to the signs that show themselves in my environment. Listen to my heart. I have found in my reading and in my life lately, some things to be absolutely true. Whether I believe in them or not. It's pretty exciting, and let me warn you ahead of time, if you ever see me in person, I am very loud about this. I am passionate once I get my head around something. Especially something I think makes sense.
Remember in the beginning of the year I told you I read the book the Jack Rabbit Factor? I suggest you read it too. http://jackrabbitfactor.com/ Remember, I only like the  ebook, the story. I do not agree with the attachment of "get rich quick" crap to this very common sense idea. So my advice is give an email address to get the book and if you do not want the rest of the info unsubscribe.

That said,  What Leslie Householder did was set some quantum physics principles and ideas to story form. It's an ingenius way to make it easy to understand without the struggle of new vs old thought process. In a very common sense kind of way the story is based on principles of Universal Laws. These Laws are based on Predictible Constants. Constants are things that ARE. No matter how or why, these things ARE. It also points out that things (opportunities) are right in front of us, we just dont see them because we continue on our everyday traveled path. We dont want to stray from that path because the stigma of not doing what everyone else does is too strong.

This might seem to be an awkwardly simple idea, but as we look at it you'll realize it really is this way.
Lets look at what I have been talking about. In the beginning of my writing I set out to tell you that I no longer want to listen to people who do not think as I do. For example, If I wanted to learn how to become an Athlete, would I seek out the advice of a Chef?  Of course not. Look at your life. Is this what you are doing?

I did. I felt it was normal to do as everyone else did. It never dawned on me that it wasn't working for them, or me.

We keep the company we keep for several reasons. More often than not though, it's simply because it's what we've always done. Well, its time to realize what we've always done hasnt worked so far. Are you on the roof waiting too? Look inside yourself. it's important for YOU to believe that YOU deserve what you want. If you can put that thought in your mind and lock it in as the truth, other people will resonate the same idea. Look around you. Do the people you attract to you have a like mind set?  Guess who has to change theirs first? YOU! You can't change other people. You can only change you. You create your own reality. If someone happens to come along with you, because they see it working for you, then Great! But, you cannot make anyone do anything. That's a contradiction of free will.

I finally understood that to be successful for myself I needed to KNOW I can. It is as simple as that. If I dont believe I can do it, then why would anyone else believe I could?

By trade I am a medical professional. If I give a medicine to a patient, I personally have to believe I am helping, this person, if not they would have no confidence in me or my care and this could be detrimental for both of us.

Have you heard of the "Placebo Effect"? It's when a drug is in trials. Some of the patients get the experimental drug, and others get a "placebo" ( a pill that has no drug in it at all). All of the patients in the trial believe they are taking the experimental pill, and the effects are documented. In any and all studies there are patients who benefit from "the placebo". How can that be? Tell me, Have you ever felt something to be true, even though you werent able to see it or touch it? This is the same thing. These people truly believe that this drug works for them. They put out a vibe of confidence that they would feel better because of this wonderous medication and they do. There is scientific documentation on every drug trial to this effect.

My question is why havent we used this "mindful" thinking to our benefit in any other area?

Have you ever woken up in the morning and spilled coffee on yourself and it triggered a bad day? Of course. We all have. Have you stopped to think that if you changed your mindset right at that moment to "I think the Blue Jacket looks better with these pants anyway" could change how the day goes? After that you go to work, and 3 people comment on your Blue Jacket and you are thinking if they only knew...but smile as the rest of your day goes well. Is this a large thing to change? For some people, yes. But what I am trying to tell you is that its only a matter of a few words. It's an idea shift. For every bad thing you believe there is an equal and opposite good thing. It takes a struggle in the beginning, but once it comes to you, it works faster and faster.

I have to admit, it has taken me almost a whole year to realize that this is true.

Tomorrow... learn how not to realize what's right in front of you...lol

** Do you have questions? Maybe you have a situation that you think could use this principle but don't know how to apply it.
Ask me.....Comment right here......

Related Articles

• How to Be Your Own Placebo (beliefnet.com)

Working Hard for the wrong reason....?

We left off at the question: "How did I get Here from There"?  Remember I said, I got here because, Life Happened and I didn’t respond. It is almost as Simple as that. This was Life on the other side of happiness.
No rescue boats in sight, rain flooding, and I'm sitting and waiting.
Feeling boxed in and tied to my misery, I escape to my computer. God Bless the internet.
While on the computer, I feel I can at least learn. I can at least read and study, and feel as though I am not wasting every moment of everyday just sitting on the sofa watching Tv or waiting for the phone to ring, for the next job interview.

In the beginning of the year, I came upon a book. The "Jackrabbit Factor". It was a Great read!  Made alot of sense.
Many good points! But, after a few weeks of getting Leslie Householder's referral emails to every Tom, Don and Harry's infomercials I began to think I was duped into "drinking the koolaid".  Although deep inside I had heard the message and truly believed some of the things that were said, my mind could not get away from the fact that this "good" information was tied to such smarmy ideas. My mind kept saying, if this "positive" information is such a wonderous thing, then why isnt it good all by itself? Why do we need "fluff" attached??

Here's what I have found to be completely true:
Of course, its true that if you continue to do the same thing and expect a different outcome, you are only kidding yourself. The very definition of Insanity tells us this.
Also, if you continue to surround yourself with the same people you have known all your life and those people are not successful, you will not gain success. In that I mean, if you want positive things to happen, you have to put yourself in an environment that fosters a mindset where you truly believe good things can happen to you, and allow yourself to receive them. If you continue to surround yourself with people who consistently say and think that they are destined to be miserable working hard for "the company" and yet get nowhere, because the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, you cannot possibly find the mindset to believe otherwise. You have no other frame of reference. We as humans work on what we know to be true. If this is what You know to be true, then this is your frame of reference. We also know that the Law of attraction tells us that we attract what we put out. If all you know is misery, then you attract misery. You dont recognize anything else. Face it, when you look at happy people, joyful people, what are you thinking? You think They are not living in reality, right? What if I told you their reality is Joy.  Again, what do you say when you see the guy drive up in the Mercedes? Oh, God here he comes, rubbing it in our face! Wonder what he had to do to get that? Glad I dont have that bill to pay every month!
I ask you, if you want to build a house, do you call an architect or a nurse? It's the same premise. If you want to change your frame of reference, your mindset, get with like minded people. Everyone around you is in the same misery. How about if you surround yourself with the other people? People who are enjoying life? If you saw those people, wouldnt you want to learn from them? Wouldn't you want to know how or why they are doing it and you are not? I did!
Some people believe that "faith" is something left for church, not for life and certainly not for the workplace. But, faith in ourselves is the single most important key to gaining success in the workplace and in life!
Lets face it, most of us were raised to beleive that working hard gets you security. I found in the last year that this isnt true. It just isnt.

 For example, I worked at my last job on average of 60-70 hours per week. I was everything to everyone. I never said No. Even though I worked 16-18 hour days, I answered every call, even when I was outside of the office. I worked my staff's shifts when THEY needed a vacation. I worked on every day-off and was always at everyone's beck and call.
And ya know what I got from that?
Last year, in November, I was FIRED from that job!
I had been on my own, living in a beautiful home with a wonderful roomate. I thought I figured it out. I had removed myself from a bad environment and had moved on to a better life. What I didnt do, was remove the mindset that came out of the bad environment. I thought that being on my own and taking care of myself so well, while someone else was miserable, was selfish. I had invested alot in a relationship and thought it would benefit me to maintain some semblance of that relationship. I didnt change my mindset. I should have.
I was fired from my 50,000 a year job. The job that afforded me my new freedom. I was fired for 2 reasons. I only realized the 2nd reason a few days ago and that was the REAL reason I was fired.
I had worked so hard that I had no life. I had no personal time to enjoy the fruits of my labor or my new found freedom.  I dont know about you, but if Laurie doesnt get playtime at least once in a while she is cranky.

So, I was not the smiley and cheerful person at the office, but everyone knew that if something needed to be done I was the one to call. They called me when they needed something, but behind closed doors, I was not a smiley face they were happy with. I was angry. I resented them. I did everything for everyone! (the same as I did in my relationship)  They pushed their work off on me. They did that so "they" could live their lives and not bother themselves with the details. They realized something I didnt. Life moves forward, whether I participate or not. whether I enjoy it or not. The Law of Perpetual motion tells us that Movement is always happening. Time goes on.

Suddenly, one Sunday afternoon, while I was at work (doing someone else's shift) I received a call from my son who lived 1500 miles away. Mommy, I had an accident. I'm going to need surgery! My son was critically ill. I had to leave the state to go to him. It was life or death. I didnt think twice. Taking care of my Son was more important than anything else I could think of. I was all He had and vice versa. (His father had passed away when he was 13)  I had to go to him. I called my Boss, assured her that I would take my work with me, as she reminded me that nobody could do my job, and that I was leaving the company in the lurch.
While away, I performed everything in my job description verbatum. From my son's bedside I took calls from work. I was getting 2 hours of sleep, but I made sure all of MY work was done. I felt good. I actually felt that I was lucky to be able to have a job that I could perform and still be at my son's side. (It's good to be grateful for what you have now.) My son was released from the hospital and thankfully made a full recovery. The day I returned to my office, I was called to the VP's office and immediately let go. I was in awe. I was angry and felt betrayed. Just 2 weeks before when I was getting ready to leave, "nobody could do my job". Now I'm Fired???

I look back at it now and realize 2 things.
(1.) Being everything to everyone isnt going to take care of Me.  Hard work at something you are not doing for yourself, will get you nowhere. In work, in love and in life!
(2.) Secondly and most importantly; Nobody wants to be around someone who is miserable. No matter the reason. No matter how much "you're needed"
So, I was put out in the cold. (kinda funny thinking of it that way, I live in Florida.)  I made it easy for them. I found that people will deal with alot as long as you smile. So thats it. My summation, Hard work, DOES NOT give you security and it's not the way to a joyful life unless it's something you do for you.  I was really bewildered. This was all I knew. This was my frame of reference!
What do I do now? I can no longer afford to live on my own, I can't pay my bills, I have no family or anyone to help me.

I am screwed!

Tomorrow: Learn why I wasn't screwed and why this was part of my biggest life's lesson.

Let me know how much of this rings true to you. Are you living your best life?  Do you give until you have nothing left? How is that working for you? Let me know, chat with me. Leave a comment.